When you suddenly find yourself helping an aging parent at home, start with two calls: an occupational therapist, who can look at how everyday life is actually working in the home and make it easier, and 211, which connects you to local services in your area. From there, a short list of free national help lines covers benefits, Medicare questions, caregiver support, and dementia care, and most of them are already paid for by your tax dollars.
On this solo episode of There's an OT For That, Dr. Brandy Archie, occupational therapist and founder of AskSAMIE, walks through exactly who to call and what each one can do for you. As she puts it, we all know to call the fire department for a fire or go to the ER for a broken arm, but nobody hands you a number to call the day you become a caregiver. Those numbers exist. Here they are.
Why does caring for an aging parent feel so overwhelming?
Because it usually starts without warning. Brandy spends time answering caregiver questions on Reddit, and the most common post is some version of "I'm now caring for my grandma and I don't know what to do." Someone's ability changes, and somehow you end up as the main person helping them. There is no handbook for that moment.
The good news is that there are professionals and organizations set up for exactly this, and knowing them before you need them is even better. You don't have to reinvent the wheel or do everything yourself.
Who is the first person to call for help with an aging parent at home?
An occupational therapist. Occupational therapy works across the lifespan, and many OTs focus specifically on older adults and on making daily life work at home, whether your parent lives with you, lives alone, or lives in a care community. OTs look at the real tasks of the day (bathing, dressing, getting to the bathroom, getting in and out of the car) and figure out what would make each one safer and easier.
You can find an OT near you on AskSAMIE and filter by type of practice, which matters here. You aren't looking for a school based OT; you want someone who works with older adults and their families.
Does insurance pay for an occupational therapist?
Often, yes. Depending on the service, OT can be covered by insurance or paid privately. If you go the insurance route, you'll need a prescription from a doctor. Brandy's tip: if your parent already has an appointment coming up, bring it up there. Say, "We're having these struggles at home. Can we see an OT for that?" Doctors almost always say yes. You can also review our payment options if you'd rather pay directly.
What free help lines can I call for an aging parent?
These are the national numbers Brandy walks through on the episode. They're the same ones printed on the Who to Call magnet that ships with every AskSAMIE order, and you can keep the full list handy on our Who to Call page.
- 211 for local help of any kind. Often run by your local United Way. Tell them, "I need help with my older parent," describe the challenge, and they'll match you with local organizations and explain what each one does. You can also search 211 online.
- Social Security, (800) 772 1213 for retirement, Supplemental Security Income, and disability benefits. If your parent can't remember the details, try to call with them sitting beside you so you can get access to the information.
- Eldercare Locator, (800) 677 1116, run by the federal Administration for Community Living. It routes you to your local Area Agency on Aging and pulls together the services in your community, whatever kind of care you need.
- Medicare, (800) 633 4227 for questions about what is and isn't covered. It can be hard to get through, which is why the next number matters.
- SHIP (State Health Insurance Assistance Program), (877) 839 2675 for free, unbiased Medicare counseling.
- Caregiver Action Network Help Desk, (855) 227 3640 for your own support as a family caregiver.
- Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline, (800) 272 3900 for dementia care, any hour of the day or night.
Why should I call SHIP instead of just calling Medicare?
Because a SHIP counselor has nothing to sell you and can compare plans against your parent's actual needs. More than half of Americans on Medicare are now in a Medicare Advantage plan, where a private insurer manages their care. Those plans often add perks up front, like free meals or a small budget for adaptive equipment and over the counter items, but Brandy points out the trade off: something free up front usually means changed access to something more expensive later.
Her example: some Advantage plans charge a meaningful copay for outpatient therapy. That seems minor while you're healthy. After a knee replacement, twelve to twenty therapy visits at $50 each adds up fast. If your parent has a condition like Parkinson's that needs therapy regularly, or a list of specialists and prescriptions that must stay in network, a SHIP counselor can help you sort out the best plan during open enrollment.
Who helps the caregiver?
The Caregiver Action Network Help Desk is, in Brandy's words, "the number you should call just to deal with your own caregiving." Almost nobody signs up for caregiving prepared; it happens haphazardly when someone's life changes. The help desk exists to give family caregivers information and connections so they can keep going.
What if my parent has dementia?
Dementia caregiving is constant and it changes over time, so the plan that works today may not work in a few weeks or months. That's why Brandy recommends two kinds of help working together.
An OT who specializes in dementia care. OTs use evidence based strategies to make daily routines easier as abilities change. Brandy shares a story of a family whose mother, living with dementia, was having a hard time with simple things like getting up to use the bathroom, walking, and getting in the car. When Brandy evaluated her, the biggest change was how she was spoken to: no open ended questions, no long explanations, just short, clear statements that directed one action at a time. The mother could understand, process, and do the task. That won't be the answer for everyone, but it shows that there are techniques that work, and an OT knows which ones to try.
The Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline, (800) 272 3900. Brandy calls it a totally underused resource. You can call at two in the morning when your parent is trying to leave the house again, and someone will help you through it.
You can also ask SAMIE, AskSAMIE's free AI tool, for help any time. It's trained on adaptive equipment and on the behavior strategies occupational therapists use, so you can ask something like, "How can I help my mom get in the shower when she refuses?" and get evidence based strategies to try.
Frequently asked questions
Who should I call first when a parent can no longer manage at home?
Call an occupational therapist and 211. The OT looks at what's actually hard in daily life and how to fix it, and 211 connects you to local services. You can get help from an OT through AskSAMIE.
Do I need a doctor's order to see an occupational therapist?
Only if you're using insurance. For insurance covered OT, ask your parent's doctor for a prescription, ideally at an appointment you already have scheduled. Private pay OT doesn't require one.
Is there a help line for family caregivers?
Yes, the Caregiver Action Network Help Desk at (855) 227 3640. It's specifically for family caregivers who need information, support, and connection to resources.
Can someone help me choose a Medicare plan for my parent without selling me one?
Yes, your State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) at (877) 839 2675. SHIP counselors give free, unbiased advice based on your parent's therapy needs, prescriptions, and specialists.
Is there someone I can call about dementia in the middle of the night?
Yes, the Alzheimer's Association helpline at (800) 272 3900 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for caregivers and people living with dementia.
If you're in the middle of this right now, you don't have to figure it out alone. Get an OT in your back pocket, keep these numbers somewhere you can see them, and browse our collections for the equipment that makes everyday tasks at home easier.
