Summary
In this episode of CareLab, Chip Wallace continues sharing the true story of his mother's financial exploitation after she developed dementia. Following the removal of Chip and his sister as medical powers of attorney, a caregiver gradually isolated their mother from family, gained influence over her daily life, and controlled communication. As concerns grew, Chip and his sister attempted to investigate through legal channels and a private investigator, but faced increasing barriers to information and access. The episode highlights how grooming, isolation, and manipulation can leave families powerless while a vulnerable older adult is exploited.
Key Questions Answered
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How did the caregiver become involved in Chip's mother's life?
She built trust by helping a neighboring resident and gradually became a regular presence in Chip's mother's daily life.
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What was the first major sign that something was wrong?
Chip and his sister were unexpectedly removed as medical powers of attorney through circumstances that appeared suspicious. -
What steps did Chip and his sister take to investigate their concerns?
They pursued legal and investigative avenues to better understand the caregiver's influence and their mother's situation. -
How was Chip's mother isolated from her family?
She was moved away from familiar connections and her communication with family became increasingly restricted. -
Why was it so difficult for the family to intervene?
Loss of legal authority, limited access to information, and the caregiver's manipulation of others prevented effective intervention.
Transcript
Emilia Bourland
Okay, welcome back to this episode of CareLab. We are picking up where we left off with a true story of severe financial exploitation of a woman with dementia. And here to tell us that story is Chip Wallace. Chip, the last time you were here, we stopped with you telling us about you and your sister being removed as powers of attorney from all of the paperwork. Okay, let's pick it up right there.
Charles Wallace
Sure. Okay. Yeah. And it was actually medical power of attorney. So we were removed and she, they added on a friend of my mother's actually two friends of my mother's and both of them, I laughed because I knew they would people that would not ask any questions. They basically were going to be silent. And so that was put in place there in August of 2019.
Brandy Archie
Mmm.
Charles Wallace
And the month before I left off, my sister had been emailing the CPA asking information on different things, the will and other pieces. And eventually she got an email from him that said, your mother has asked us not to send you any more information. That was also what led us to ask for that capacity letter.
Brandy Archie
I was just going to ask about that actually, like
in this process of like when you found out that you're off the medical power of attorney, what was y'all's communication with your mother directly? How was that like?
Charles Wallace
Yeah.
It
was light. We had had a history of, my sister would talk to her more, but my mother was always a challenge to talk with because she was more interested, we'll say, in herself. And it was hard to talk about other things. ⁓ And so we didn't. And so I would talk to her maybe once every few weeks, where my sister might talk to her weekly. And it's been like that for years, even before she had started having illness signs. ⁓
Emilia Bourland
Mm-hmm.
Charles Wallace
but kind of stepping back how she found the caregiver. As you guys had mentioned, I forgot how to bring that in. So she was in the high rise condo. There was a lady next door that had caregivers that were attending to her. And one of the caregivers was this caregiver. And the adult daughter of that lady would come over every day at random times, started putting cameras up in the room and was basically monitoring. ⁓
Brandy Archie
Yeah.
Emilia Bourland
Mm-hmm, yeah.
In wait in your mother's
house started putting. ⁓ OK. ⁓
Charles Wallace
No, no. And the neighbors, she was, was, she
Brandy Archie
The neighbor.
Charles Wallace
was just, this was going on the neighbor's condo next door. So the caregiver was working there first, had been there for about six months. And the neighbor's daughter, adult daughter would go over randomly each day, was watching, putting things in safe, in a safe that would, you know, for the valuables, as well as putting cameras up. So this caregiver needed another victim because it wasn't going to be her because she's being watched.
Emilia Bourland
Okay, okay.
Charles Wallace
And my mother was, you know, scooting around the hallways of the condo and it was obviously signed by the way she walked that she had some issues. And they had a conversation and the lady next door, the way the condo was set up, her kitchen door opened up to where my mother's front door was.
And so she would sneak out and bring extra food over to my mother. And that's kind of how they started. the passage is, you know, she came bringing bagels and that's kind of how she started doing it. And so she folded into bringing food over a few months through 2018. Then she suddenly started spending the night that summer. My mother would ask her to stay. Her home was south, the south part of town, about 25, 30 minutes south.
Emilia Bourland
Mm-hmm.
Charles Wallace
And so she kept her there and it kind of started where she was spending the nights several nights a week. And so that was through 2018. We had the neurology visit there at the end of 2018, beginning of 2019. She's in the room. She sees issues are going on. And we get to the summer issue of the capacity letter. We're kicked off. We found out we were kicked off. We both received letters in the mail. My mother didn't write physical letters. We would communicate by email or text.
We opened it up and it says something about, you know, we've removed you from the HIPAA and because of this or that, and basically we need somebody in town nearby in case there's an emergency. And my argument was, well, you know what? There's not a maximum number people you can have medical power attorneys. So all you had to do was add them. You didn't have to remove us. ⁓ And then the letter was signed by my mother's name and we'd called her mother always. she...
Emilia Bourland
Mm-hmm.
Charles Wallace
It was written just the word mother and it was obvious. It looked like somebody who was five had written it. ⁓ That part of the letter, but the letter was typed and there were misspellings in it. So I knew it came from the caregiver because I found later she used to type stuff that was, and it was always misspelled.
So we get the letters and we're off. And so now we're like, what are we going to do? Because we don't have any communication. They won't tell us stuff. ⁓ So we're like, we'll start off with a private investigator. So my sister is an attorney. ⁓ I joke she's barred in three states. So she was Texas, California, and Alaska.
And so she's living up in the Seattle area and we get a private investigator through a attorney French had in Houston and do a background check comes back in the middle of September. And then we see some stuff, but you're like, there's no sign that she has a history of we'll call it, know, the robbing people, but.
you'd only have that if she'd ever been caught and convicted. And so there's no background information. Other than you see that with one group, there's a senior organization there in Dallas and she'd work with them for a year. And that was it. And other than that, and then she had a weird last name suddenly for a little bit and we didn't know at the time what that meant. ⁓ So we didn't have anything to go on. So this was September of 19. And in the middle of the month, my sister gets a phone call to tell us that
Emilia Bourland
Mm-hmm.
Charles Wallace
She's now living in a hotel. What are you living in hotel for? She says, well, I got up one morning and went to the bathroom and the rug was wet. And so there had been a flood in the bathroom and it got on the walls and all over. And so we can't, I can't be in the apartment because it's got to be renovated. There's they pulled up floors and whatnot. And I was like, how is that possible? There's a toilet in there in the back. You have to have help going to the bathroom.
did it suddenly flood? You know, it's like someone had flushed the toilet like multiple times. There's no way it would have flooded that much, but nobody would ever explain it. And so she was out of her hotel, I mean out of her condo, and she's not in hotel, and a month or so passes and they move her into a new condo south of where she used to live about 10 miles or so being in Dallas. It was in the Turtle Creek area and so she, it was.
Emilia Bourland
That's pretty significant number of
miles in DFW.
Charles Wallace
And she
doesn't know anybody there in the building. And so this is late 2019, has no friends, so now she's isolated. But part of it always been when we did the capacity letter, I didn't believe that she's overspending on groceries, whatnot. What else could possibly, there's these people are watching her, the fiduciaries, what are they gonna do? So she moves into the new place in 2019.
And then we finally decided to go visit her in January. And my mother sends a note back saying, don't come visit me. I'm going through some stuff. I'm not sure how long I'm going to, it's going to be like this. And we're like, well, ⁓ no, I'm still going come visit. So I set up a ⁓ ticket to fly down there in March of 2020. The week I was to fly down there was COVID lockdown. So I don't go down.
And I don't see her physically until January of 22. My sister went and saw her in the summer of 21. But from that point on, you know, we'd have some phone calls with her, but, you know, we didn't have any medical information comments. Nobody would tell us anything. ⁓ We found out later that, you know, the caregiver was essentially grooming everybody that was around her.
Emilia Bourland
⁓
Charles Wallace
to that we were the bad people, all we wanted was my mother's money, we didn't care about anything else going on. And so in 2020, the carrier kind of took over my mother's phone and she wasn't typing so she couldn't email. And so we would get random notes, but we never had good information until unfortunately after she passed, which was in March of 22.
Emilia Bourland
Wow, okay, so you try to see her in 2020. It's the same week the COVID shutdown happens. And then from that point forward, you basically don't see her until almost right before she passes, it sounds like. What... ⁓
Charles Wallace
Mm-hmm.
correct.
Emilia Bourland
What was going on in your head kind of during that time? You know, thinking about what to do when you should go see her, ⁓ all of that.
Charles Wallace
Right. Yeah,
we tried a couple of times and my mother would go, no, no, the building manager says nobody can come visit, know, or there's COVID in the building, you can't come visit. And so she was regularly isolated ⁓ with those folks. She saw the CPA, they would meet to, you know, to do bills, because he was paying her bills, ⁓ had been doing it for a year or so. And my sister would try to call, we'd call, she wasn't really good with the phone, so it would be on speaker.
You know, we knew somebody was there, whether it was her main caregiver or the people that she had helping her out. And it was just kind of like, you know, hope they're taking care of her. We can't do anything. Can't get down there. You know, we've got full-time jobs. You know, how do you get down and do this? And thinking she's being watched. and unfortunately, like I said, she was grooming everybody. And so that's, they all believed her. She was good.
Emilia Bourland
think that might be a good place to take a pause here. ⁓ If you made it to the end of this episode, please make sure to like, subscribe, share, follow. ⁓ That way you will get a notification when the next part of this series drops because I am sure, I am on the edge of my seat wanting to know what the heck happens next and I'm sure you are too. So again, make sure to like, subscribe, follow, and we'll see you right back here on the next episode of CareLab. Bye.
Brandy Archie
Bye.
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