Summary
In this Care Lab episode, hosts Brandy Archie and Emilia Bourland speak with Bradley Richardson, author and creator of Advanced Adulting, about the realities of caregiving in midlife. Bradley shares his personal experiences caring for his late mother, emphasizing the importance of early planning, honest conversations, and emotional awareness. The discussion highlights caregiving as a universal “equalizer” that crosses generations, finances, and cultures. They also explore how purpose evolves in midlife and how connection and communication can make caregiving less isolating.
Key Questions Answered
-
What inspired Bradley Richardson to create Advanced Adulting?
His decades-long work chronicling Gen X life transitions and his personal experiences navigating midlife challenges led him to start a platform focused on real, unfiltered discussions about aging and caregiving. -
Why does Bradley call caregiving an “equalizer”?
Because it affects everyone—regardless of age, income, or background—and forces people to confront universal emotional, financial, and relational challenges. -
What was Bradley’s biggest lesson from caring for his mother?
That waiting until a crisis happens limits choices; early planning, open dialogue, and empathy toward loved ones are crucial. -
How can families better prepare for caregiving needs?
By having proactive, honest conversations before emergencies arise, creating flexible plans for finances, housing, and care preferences. -
How does Bradley view purpose in midlife and beyond?
He believes purpose isn’t about grand legacies but about everyday impact—leaving meaningful “thumbprints” on the people and relationships closest to you.
Transcript
Brandy Archie
What if caring for someone you love isn't just about managing their day-to-day needs, but navigating a whole ecosystem of emotions, finances, and constant change? Caregiving today is a moving target, one that touches every part of life. And while it can feel overwhelming, new tools and technology are transforming what's possible for families who want to do it well. And that's where our conversation's gonna begin.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
We have here with us today, Bradley Richardson. Bradley is a five times bestselling author and creator of Advanced Adulting, one of the most popular platforms on social media for people navigating midlife and beyond. He's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Rolling Stone, Good Morning America, NPR and more. And his weekly Advanced Adulting podcast can be found on YouTube and he hosts a global online community for people age 45 through 65. Bradley, welcome. We're so excited to have you here on Care Lab today.
Bradley Richardson
Thank you for having me. This is gonna be fun. Excited to talk to y'all.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so tell us a little bit. Obviously, we're gonna hear all about advanced adulting, which I think is probably one of the best names that I've ever heard. But tell us a little bit about your journey to get where you are right now. Like, what started all of this?
Brandy Archie
for sure.
Bradley Richardson
Thank you.
Bradley Richardson
Oh, wow. To get to here, gosh. Well, it's funny. So, you know, the baseline here is I am in my 50s, but let's go way back. You know, I'm squarely Gen X. mean, I'm the older Gen X. But going back about 30 years, I wrote one of the very first books for Gen X back when I was 27, book called Job Smart for 20 somethings. And so when we're all starting out and everyone was talking about when there were only two generations in the workforce.
was the extras and boomers. you know, it was people talking about slackers talking about 20 somethings, 20 nothings. And, I wrote a, a book from Random House that really talked about, you know, how we can get started professionally. And that led to a career of really chronicling how we Gen X matriculate life. And that could be, I've written books on being a dad on starting over. I've had a career.
in executive search for a number of years. I've had highs, lows, divorced, all of that. And it's interesting because about five or six years ago, after being in the executive search business for a long time and raising my kids, had wanted, social media, was an OG influencer before there was social media, I guess. And so now with social media, you're looking and go, I want to get back to what I really enjoy.
And that's sharing these messages out there. And the biggest thing about advanced adulting and how we got here was, you know, there's so many things that, you know, as you go through life, they hit you just square in the face and you know, maybe that they're coming, but you never expect them. So when you're 27, you don't sit there and think, well, I wonder what my second marriage is going to be like, or I wonder what it's going to be like to care for older parents. And
that's advanced adulting. so about five or six years ago, I really started getting back into this and we built up the brand to have one of the bigger followings out there that handles the real stuff. It's not shaking your butt on TikTok and it's not, you know, sitting there and talking about how wonderful and fit and jacked I am on testosterone. It's about the real stuff that the equalizers, as I call them, and caregiving is an equalizer because it doesn't matter where you live. You know, we do with people all over the world.
Bradley Richardson
through advanced adulting, it doesn't matter your background, your race, your religion, your income, anything, we're all encountering this in some form or fashion. And that's really what advanced adulting is. And so, work with not only individuals, helping them navigate it, but with being that connector to bring them and companies together who serve this group.
Brandy Archie
That makes so much sense, especially talking about like, you've essentially been chronicling like the different stages of your life that are also equalizers, because everybody's encountering them kind of at the same time when you're thinking about generation and population. And so naturally, when you get to a certain age, you're gonna be dealing, like the numbers tell you that if everybody's either been a caregiver or will be a caregiver at some point in their life. So will you talk to us a little bit about like,
how you think about that. Like how do you think about advising or what messages are you trying to share with people about like considering or dealing with caregiving?
Bradley Richardson
I think if there's one thing, if you had to boil it down, and there are many, but if you had to boil it down, you're not alone. You're not alone. I think that's the biggest thing. You know, what I've noticed about caregiving, there's so many different things that everybody, everybody to a degree wears a mask. You you've got your personal mask, your professional mask, all of this. And what I've found, okay, since, you know, speaking as a Gen Xer, someone of a certain age, remember when we were growing up, there used to be a point in time.
Brandy Archie
Mm.
Bradley Richardson
way back in the day where people didn't talk about divorce, or they didn't talk about cancer, you know, it was like, oh my God, shh, you know. And, you what's funny is, caregiving seems to be one of those things now. We'll talk about dying near anything, but caregiving, it's, you know, people are, you know, the phrase is the reluctant caregiver, or they just don't know it. I was talking to a gentleman just before this call, he goes, I've been a caregiver 32 years, I just finally acknowledged it and realized it two years ago. And I think that's the thing is,
Brandy Archie
Hmm.
Bradley Richardson
We don't talk about it. don't talk about it at work. We don't really talk about each other. don't talk about, why did you move back to your hometown? But when someone's, whether you call it brave enough, vulnerable enough, open enough to finally say, yeah, here's what's going on with mom and dad, or hey, yeah, I can't do this right now because it's making me crazy because I'm caring for this loved one or spouse or child, whomever, that's when I've noticed that the floodgates open and they go, yeah, me too. And so I think that's the thing is
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
It's recognizing that, this is normal and it's okay and it sucks sometimes and it's hard, but you're not the only one and that's okay. And that I think brings a lot of people, it didn't solve anything, but it brings people some comfort too because we hang on to this and we hide it oftentimes and we are reluctant to talk about it.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Do you think that it's important to normalize caregiving by talking about it? Like understanding that we all at some point will find ourselves in this role and we will probably find ourselves on the opposite side too where someone is caring for us. Like how important is it to just normalize this part of life?
Bradley Richardson
I think it's critical that we normalize it. think it's something we've not done. We've done that in so many other aspects of our lives now, but this is one. And what's funny is, yes, and you hit on something that a lot of people do. Hey, at one point we're going to need it. Yes, but just, think the way a lot of people are wired. Yeah, but that, you know, it doesn't ring true. It doesn't hit home yet. But when you're dealing with mom or dad or you go, you know, we're coming up, you if you come up on the holidays.
And you go Thanksgiving, you go, my God, see them twice a year or something. And it's like, what a decline. Or it's that right there. When it hits you, that's a big thing. these are the, know, everybody loves, it's kind of like divorce in that everybody loves to be the awesome Disneyland dad or the, you know, the C &E parent. And it's awesome. The Christmas and Easter and it's fantastic. And you have all the good stuff and it's all happy good times. This is not a happy good time subject, but it's important, you know?
And the more we kick that can down the road, then it becomes a 911, oh my God, holy crap situation. What are we going to do right now? And that's the problem. That's the problem that I encountered in my own personal life with my late mother. That's the problem that happens to a lot of folks because it's not a conversation that's fun. It's not sexy. It's not entertaining. And as much as you don't want to talk about it, I guarantee you, they don't want to talk about it, you know?
Because that's, I think we forget that too. That, know, two things. I think we tend to think, well, it's fine. They're going to be okay. It'll work itself out. Okay. There are like 50 million moving parts to this thing that you hit along the whole, as you're going. Okay. There's that, that nine one one moment. There's where she can live, how she's going to get transported around, who's going to care for her, all of those different things. You who's going to take care of me, what's going to do to my finances, what's going to do to my family, my job. And we don't think about that.
And I go back to that piece of the conversation that they don't want to have because I remember even just with my own mother, I didn't like talking about it. I didn't want to plan for it. But even with her, it's like acknowledging your end. It's like, I think we forget that, that they're scared too. They're scared, they're confused, uncertain.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Hmm.
Bradley Richardson
It's like a lot of things. think the more we recognize that it's just a human going through this for the first time and someone we love and they're going through it. I know the mistake that my sister and I made that probably most families make or most adult kids make is you become parent, you parent the parent and it becomes a situation of, well,
Here's mom or dad over here and you're talking about them like they're a distant third party over here. Well, we're gonna do this and you start controlling things and You forget that and sometimes they need it. But sometimes you forget. Hey, wait a minute here Someone's life you're dealing with you know, and that's your you're making important decisions about this that They're emotionally going through it as well. I think that's a hard part
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Brandy Archie
wanna like double click on that because you said it was a mistake that you and your sister made. What about that was a mistake? Cause like you needed to figure out what to do. They needed help. Is it just that you said it in front of them? Is it that we weren't thinking about them as being grownups too? Is it because they got upset about it? Like tell us a little bit more about like, why are you saying that as a mistake?
Bradley Richardson
D, all of the above. mean, it was like for us, and I think I don't think this is uncommon for us. My mom, you know, had lived alone. OK, you know, I'm originally from Texas, so she was out in far west Texas. I was in Dallas at the time. My sister was in Atlanta. So we knew, A, she's living alone. There's that she wasn't terribly healthy. No big chronic issues, but morbidly overweight.
Brandy Archie
Okay.
Bradley Richardson
you know, and dealing with that. We knew for years, hey, at some point we're going to have to do something. At some point we're going have to do something about this. And we kept talking about that and would have more and more conversations, but it became the, yeah, I don't know, we'll just deal with that when it happens. Okay? So we would, we would kick that can down the road and know that, oh, well, we have to, but we didn't want to talk about it. We didn't talk about where she's going to go. She's going to have to move from Lubbock at some point, you know, how are we going to pay for it? What's going to happen?
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
We would try and talk to her about, you have to take care of yourself or hey, need to have this happen so you can get better care, at least living on your own. And she's stubborn like most parents, older parents, didn't want to hear it either, you know. And we think of that as them being belligerent, but it's really she was scared, you know, she was scared. And the other thing was for us, like so many, you know, we had pushed that conversation in,
Brandy Archie
you
Bradley Richardson
down the road so much that it became a 911 moment when we couldn't get in touch with her for about two days, you know? And we ended up sending our department, know, childhood friend from where we grew up with over to, she'd fallen in the shower, had been there for two days, broke her shoulder, destroyed her shoulder. And so then it becomes a, oh my God, how are we gonna rehab this? Where's she gonna go? She can't stay on her own anymore. I mean, it's just this.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm.
Bradley Richardson
you're moving a much bigger rock at that point, you know, and you're putting out, you know, little bonfires rather than having a plan. And then she ended up moving in with my sister in Atlanta, you know, thank God for that. But even then it became a, know, when I talk about the stages, I think that's important, you know. It's not just what are we going to do with her right now, but okay, she'd been there about a year.
Health declining a little bit. Okay, how are we going to transport her? How are we to get her healthy? How are we get meds? How are we going get a home caregiver? All of these things. And having those conversations just became harder and harder. And so it became something that we would talk about and not really include her as much in choices. you know, sometimes, you know, not saying that she would have made great choices, not saying that she was going to be cooperative, because she wasn't. But those are the things that I think people forget about.
You until you're in it. You really, you have to plan, but there's some things you can't prepare for what it's really like until you're going through it.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Yeah, I think it can be so easy sometimes to talk about like what someone should or shouldn't do or, you know, things to try or things to avoid. But you're so right. It's when you're actually in the situation trying to navigate it, sometimes it can be so much trickier. And it is so important to remember that it's, you know, in the relationship between caregiver and care receiver, sometimes it's harder to be the care receiver, which isn't to say that
Brandy Archie
Mmm.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
you know, that the struggles of the caregiver are not real. Of course they are. But which position would you rather be in? You know, as a full-grown adult who's been independent for your whole life, right? Who would you rather be in that relationship? It's really emotionally fraught and difficult.
Brandy Archie
Yeah.
Bradley Richardson
Yeah.
Bradley Richardson
Well, that word right there emotionally because we forget about this. I think that a lot of times, and again, you all are the professionals, know, they're the rubber meets the road in it. I mean, I've experienced it and again, by virtue of advanced adulting, you know, I'm in those conversations often. But the thing is, I think that as the adult child, we default to caregiving extending to the day-to-day tasks of, you know,
Where are going to live? How are we paying for it? How they getting their meds? How are we getting through today? What do you need in a tactical, tangible way? And equally as important of that is the mental and emotional strain with it. Just that type of, you your emotions, their emotions, all of this. And this can be extended. It is important to know too, is this can extend with not just aging, but we've had several friends who's
parents have had strokes recently. Okay. And that's a whole other level of care, you know? And I think that's a big thing. Not just you. It's hard watching the person you love, spouse, parent, know, grandparent, whatever, decline, you know, to be a shell of themselves. Put yourself in their head for a minute, okay? To know, my God, I've been this, you know, strong, independent, badass, madder woman and I can't do this now.
Brandy Archie
Hmm.
Bradley Richardson
I have to have someone else do this for me? Yeah, that's a hard, hard deal. And I, the more I reflect on it, because when you're in the moment, you're in the moment, okay? But when you step back and you go, okay, I mean, if I were to give counsel to anybody, it's like, take a beat, okay? Take a beat. It's not always about you. It's not always about them too. You know, it's not always someone being angry, belligerent.
You know, it's just, these are, these is a complex group of emotions that none of us have experienced and none of us sure as hell didn't plan for. That's it.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Brandy Archie
Yeah, that's a good, it's like such a good point because everybody ends up going through it, but nobody really does it more than one time for the most part. Maybe somebody might have to do it twice, but really most people, and if you do it twice, it might be completely different. One might be for just a person who's aging, and then there might be for a stroke, like you said, like those are two different situations. And so you're still always like kind of a novice. And so I'm going to ask like a hard question.
It might be a hard question, but I'm asking anyway. So if I want to go back to like you and your family and with your experience now and the experience that you've been, you know, caring for your mom, all the conversations that you've had since then with everybody.
What would it what would you have needed in the moment of kicking the can down the road to? Maybe stop and do something different right like I totally understand the reason for kicking it down the road because you kind of don't know what to do first of all So we can talk about it, then what what what are we what is the solution? I don't know. So let's just not mess with it right now. It's it's not actually a problem right now So let's just keep going like what would it what would you have needed in that moment to actually? Do it go down the other road and like start talking about
Bradley Richardson
100%.
Brandy Archie
it.
Bradley Richardson
I think, you know, it's a favorite phrase of mine, but it's very accurate and that's you don't know what you don't know. And so I think that that's it. I mean, when you're in the mix of it, you're right. You push it down because it's not it's not a crisis right now. Hey, look, you don't you're never going to have all the answers. OK, you're not. There are so many great people out there who provide great resources, but you don't one, you don't know what those are. And some of them just you're not even going to think it's not going to be on your radar. Someone could explain it to you.
and what it is, and you're gonna go, yeah, but how am gonna use that? And when you do, it's like, my God, I see. But I think that the biggest thing would be, if I were to do it over again, some sort of framework, you can call it bullet points, you can call it four core pillars, whatever, of hey, this is something you're really gonna need to think about here on this. And whether that is planning for it or, know,
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
Think of it this, it's like disaster planning, you know, for almost anything. You need, you know, I wish I knew, hey, you you may not have everything figured out, but if mom falls, if there needs something, here are the four things you need to figure out real fast and at least have some sort of direction. You don't have to have it pinned down, but you need to know. And we don't think about that because whether it's financially, you know, one, nobody wants to think about that, or you've your hands up and go, God, we know we just can't afford it, it's gonna be expensive.
Or it's the, are they going to live, any of those things. We throw so much down the road and you don't have to have everything figured out, but you need to at least have an idea of what are these core elements that you're going to have to deal with. you know, even if it's just a option A, option B, and then you figure out the rest while you're going. But because so few people, you know, we have a retirement plan.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
but we don't have a plan for this at all. And I think that's a big thing. I wish I'd had that. I also wish that I had had, whether you want to call it a roadmap, a flow chart, how do you have these conversations? How do you have this conversation? I think that's the biggest thing. This is your mom, know, especially if you don't need it now, you know? It's kind of like talking about a
cemetery plot or something, you know, it's like, don't think I'm not dead yet. That's my mom. She's a smart aleck. West Texas smart aleck. I'm not dead yet. Don't get rid of me yet. You know, so we're not having those conversations. And I think that's something that I wish more people knew of. And I'm not going to say in a comfortable way, but at least in a an acceptable way to go. OK, because I do believe, you know,
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
a lot of adult children, whether it's an oldest daughter, whether it's a male, you know, well, damn it, we're going to figure this out. Here's what you're to do. Here's what you're going to do, you know, and we become these fixers. We become instant fixers because you have to. that's, you know, it works. There's a bumpy road getting there. So that's what I as I wish I'd had.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
I think sometimes it can be so because to your point, there's no way of knowing what is going to happen or how it's going to happen. We just we just don't actually know what the future looks like. And sometimes that makes it really difficult to have these conversations about like making a plan for the future, because if we don't know what what are we planning for? Like to your point, Brandi, like what's the actionable thing we're going to do if we don't actually know what's going to happen and everything is OK right now?
Brandy Archie
What's going to happen?
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
And so sometimes I think that a helpful way to approach it is in the same way that we think about, like if you're having a conversation about your advanced directive or, you know, your, like your medical care plan, right? Like you're sitting, you're healthy right now, but if something happened to you, what would you, what would you want your life to look like? Right. And so I think sometimes we don't have to just extend that type.
of approach to end of life care or like extreme hospital care or something, we can say like, hey, you know, none of us know what life's gonna be like. Hey, mom, if you ever needed care, where would you want that to happen? Would you want that to be at your house? Would you wanna move in with one of us? Would you wanna go somewhere else? Like, how would you want that to be? And then at least like, we don't know exactly what's gonna happen, but if we know what someone...
might want in different kinds of situations, then at least it lays a foundation for, okay, well, mom said she wants to be cared for at home. That means that we might need, to your point, Bradley, like these three things in place, we're gonna need money for that. Let's start saving money for that now, or let's ask mom if she has a long-term care policy or whatever these other things are. like, even if we don't know exactly what's gonna happen, and we don't know how it's gonna happen, when we know what people...
want, it can make it easier to at least lay some kind of groundwork so that we're not in a full-on panic when the thing inevitably happens. I'm still making that sound easier than it is. It's not
Brandy Archie
Yeah.
Bradley Richardson
Well, you're right. mean, but it's I think one of the big things is we don't think about this because we're living, we're busy living our lives. And I think especially for people in that sandwich gen right now, if in your forties, fifties, early sixties, hey, you're either, you're either raising your kids, you're getting your kids, you know, trying to launch, you're trying to figure out your own career, your own retirement, your own relationship, your own midlife crisis.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
And the last thing you want to do, you, and this is the biggest thing, it's in the back of your head, it's number 26D on the depth chart of things that I actually need to give attention to right now, is what's gonna happen with mom and dad on that. And I think that's the problem. And I'm not saying, I think this is it. If I were to wave a magic wand on this, it's not a solution. We tend to avoid it because we think,
It is. It's such a massive, all-encompassing topic. But at least, hey, it doesn't have to be right now. But if you wait and then that 911 moment hits, then you're not going to have any choices. Your choices have been cut by 80 % in terms of what do I do to put out this fire in front of me right now today? And so that planning is just devoted day.
Just devote a day right now. This isn't something you, you know, it's not like, I have to work out my whole retirement plan and navigate. was just like, okay, we're going to have one day where we're going to hell and we're figuring all this out and have the tough stuff. And we at least know, and we knock it out. Okay, cool. At least you have done that rather than talk about it at Thanksgiving, you know, when, you know, people are washing dishes and, know, you and your sister in there talking about, my God, this is going to suck. Can you believe this? And I think that's just a real way of doing it.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
after three glasses of wine and too much turkey and a little bit of pie.
Brandy Archie
Hahaha
Bradley Richardson
Oh, yeah, three glasses of wine. You're like, I'll be damn actually not living with me. not doing that. And those are real things. We joke about it. But that's real how it goes. Well, one person, you're always in the you and I've talked about this on my podcast before. There's all if you have siblings, there's always one that's hands on one that's emotional and one that's like, No, I'm arms length. Just let me cut a check. Okay. Or everyone's got an opinion. Okay, you need
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
Everybody wants to be in control to some degree. Getting ahead of this thing lets you keep some semblance of control. You're never going to know everything, but boy, if you don't do anything, your choices are going to be taken from you on how you act, respond, and do. And that's it.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm.
Brandy Archie
Right.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm.
Brandy Archie
That's such an important point that like when you start earlier or have some thought about it, you have more options than when you wait until it's a 911 situation, like you said. The other things you mentioned a few times and also I want to lead into is like your podcast is not, your podcast and platform is not necessarily about caregiving, but it becomes part of it. And what you've mentioned is that it's all encompassing because everything is tied into it, right?
and everybody is dealing with it in some form or fashion. Either they are kicking the can down the road or they're actually doing caregiving or they just lost somebody. And so at this stage in life, you're experiencing it. And so I guess I was just curious about how often you feel like caregiving comes up in your conversations, even if the conversation starts with finances or relationships.
Bradley Richardson
It's funny, you know, I said it just a few moments ago. I think it's one of those things when you open the door a little bit, you know, you'll find out how because social media is a great thing. There's lots of people doing great things out there, but it's the hey, look, I'm going to embrace my age and go gray naturally. Awesome. Hey, look, I'm going to be fit at 55. Awesome. Those are cool things to talk about. They know they're they're good looking. But then when you actually get someone talking about.
Oh man, hey, why'd you move back to Longview, Texas? Oh, well, because I had to come take care of my mom. Oh, well, me too. Here's what's going on. That's it. And as far as advanced adulting is concerned, it's funny. Advanced adulting is really about everything. The good and the bad and the okay and the everyday. It's all that. Yes, we talk about reinvention and purpose and lifestyle and all that. Awesome. But last year, we have several hundred thousand
folks around the world. And I asked them, I said, so what are the most important things to you right now? You know, I mean, I know what's going on in my life right now, but you know, five years ago was about relationships. That's not important to me right now. I'm in a good one. Yay. So that's, you know, dealing with that isn't as important right now. It's fluid as you go through these different things. And I said, so what are some of the big core issues? And they said, they said, obviously my own health and longevity. Okay, great.
retirement and finances. And the other was caring for mom or dad, which I didn't expect. Honestly, I did not expect that to be as much of a prominent thing as it is. And some of the content that we've done, it's funny, the content that we've done this year that has been seen and received by literally millions of people have been about either your career finances,
or about this caregiving. And one of our most popular pieces was, and I say popular, not in terms of just, people saw it, but people just, you know, people chiming in, people saying, that's me. I see myself in this. And I think that's the thing. I go back, I said it again. When you open up the floodgates and people see themselves in a situation, they'll talk about it. And, you we talk about, you know, caring for the caregiver, okay?
Brandy Archie
engaging with it.
Bradley Richardson
Because again, it's not just taking care of that person. It impacts you, your finances, your family, your emotion, everything, your career, everything. And when we did a piece on that, I mean, yeah, we've had a couple million people who have all been all about that and hundreds of thousands of comments of, yeah, I had to deal with that, whether it's dementia.
whether it is a stroke, whether it's just aging, whether it's sibling conversations. So yeah, it comes up. It's like anything. And I think that's one of the beautiful things about advanced adulting is, I say navigate midlife and beyond because that's really it. You're hitting things at different stages, you know? And what's important to you right now may not be important in two years.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm.
Bradley Richardson
what you're thinking of and seeing someone else go through, it may come, it may not, but that's the beautiful part is we're all, you know, it is equalizer. It's gonna hit us at some point, just at different stages.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
I'd love to know before we wrap up here, and if this is too personal, you can just tell us. We'll edit it out. So you don't have to answer the question if you don't want to. But I think you make such a wonderful point that you get to this midlife stage in life, and there are so many different things that are changing and coming at you. And you get to one stage, and this is the important thing. And then a few years later, you're at another stage, and this is the important thing.
Bradley Richardson
As you can tell, I'm so tight-lipped, Right.
Brandy Archie
You
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
the next thing for you that's on your mind that you're like, okay, Bradley Richardson has to deal with this now.
Bradley Richardson
Not too personal at all. In fact, you're all going to see a lot about this coming soon. So for me, and it's not this way for everybody, but for me, I turned 59 about a week ago. And thank you. And what's funny, there are two things with this. Number one is you look at, I think Stanford did a study saying that biologically you age the most.
Brandy Archie
Happy birthday.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Happy birthday!
Bradley Richardson
Physiologically, you age the most at 45 and 60. That hit me. That really hit me. in terms of, okay, if I'm coming into this kind of final stage, if you will, this last third of my life, how do I tee myself up? Not just physiologically, but in everything. Because I do believe, I believe people talk, you
Life is in chapters. Yeah, I also believe life is kind of like a series of different short stories. You're just the main character. And so what do I want to do with this next evolution of me? OK. Yeah. And I think that's a big a big piece of it. And for a lot of people, you see a lot of people in the midlife space and, you know, hey, look, good for them. I wish it were me. But there's a lot of people that are the well, you know, hey, you've done all this and you've achieved this. And now here you.
You can have you find your purpose and your legacy. Cool. I still think I have a lot of gas in the tank and I don't think I've peaked. That's it. That's it for me right now is what if you're great. I haven't sold a company for eight figures. I can't go hang out in Cabo and for two months and do this stuff. And I think if you look at social media, there's a lot of that BS for me. It's like, OK.
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
personal. I've done a lot right. I've achieved a lot. I've had a lot of great success. I've also screwed the pooch magnificently in many ways. Professionally, personally with my kids, everything. And I think it's one of those kind of like caregiving. If you're really honest with people, you go, you know, okay, you know, here's what I did right. Here's what I did wrong. You know, your professional life may be fantastic. Your personal life's a dumpster fire. Invert it. Whatever. And I'm like, all right, I have another shot at this.
with certain things that I want to achieve personally, but also I want to experience and do and how can I, when I go out, that's the punchline. When I go out, I want to go out on E, want to go out on fumes. I want to go out just going, all right, I may not have nailed it, but you know what? I sure swung hard and I gave it everything I did in every aspect that I possibly could. And, you know, I don't want to be that looking back and, you know.
well, I didn't try hard enough, or I didn't do this, those regrets. I think that's a big evolution for a lot of people, you know? And that's not sexy, that's not, you know, you have to do some deep thinking about that. And I think that is something that I honestly don't believe I'm alone in that one either, for people, for advanced adults.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Mm-hmm.
Brandy Archie
I appreciate you for sharing and I'm sure so many people can connect with that idea. And it also leads into, even though you kind of poo-pooed it a little bit, but just having purpose is really important. Whether you're working and making money and that feels like your purpose or you're spending your time in a particular way or you're re-imagining how you want a different third of your life to be, purpose is what keeps us alive, essentially. And so I'm thank you for sharing.
Bradley Richardson
Yeah, think it's important to say when I say purpose, here's what I mean by that. think and again, here's what I will put poo is the whole social media. You know, everybody's awesome and the celebrity and fantastic and awesome and looks great. That is what I put poo. And so when they think of of purpose, oftentimes it is the something great and grand and bigger than yourself. Look, here's the deal. I'm going to do a video on this real soon. The idea of chances are you're not going to have your name on a building. OK.
Brandy Archie
there.
Brandy Archie
Mm-hmm.
Bradley Richardson
They're not going have a library named after you. Your legacy, and that may be an unpopular opinion, your legacy is much shorter runway than you think. I guarantee you, could go to teenagers, Gen Z right now and say, name the four Beatles for me. And I bet you they probably couldn't, right? So look at that. Look at that versus us. Really, your
name your memory is gone in four generations. Okay. So I thought of that. I thought of, you know, I saw something not long ago. There's a great uncle of mine. Okay. So my grandmother's brother and he, you know, the face Facebook and everything else. Okay. He died in his nineties, but the memory pops up and says, Oh, he, know, Herb Stokes would have been 104 today. And I thought about that and I thought, huh, okay. My kids will never know that then, you know, and their kids will never know that.
So where I'm going with it is your purpose. Your purpose is on a micro level, not a macro level. Okay. It's great to say we're going to change the world. You know, very few people are going to really truly change the world. But what you are going to do is for those four generations, you're going to have a thumbprint on your children, your family, your friends, the person at the store who you interact with, the person who you inspire just by being nice to them or giving them an idea. And your purpose is fluid.
Brandy Archie
Yeah.
Bradley Richardson
I think that's the other thing. So, you know, your purpose goes from when you were, you know, young, dumb and bulletproof in your twenties and thinking, well, I want to achieve this and do this to my purpose now is I want to, I want to spend time with my children. I want to be the best I can there. I want to be the best in my relationship. can't, I want to be true to myself. That's for me, maybe not anybody else, but I believe your purpose changes dramatically once you hit a certain age or a certain
life event or something. And so your purpose is not necessarily this magnificent social media driven thing of, know, how can I, you I'm going to go to Africa and feed children. If you want to and that's your bag, you go, baby. But I really think it's much more on a what do you truly have an impact on and ability to move a needle? Caregiving is one of those things.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Well, I think first of all, that's a great answer. Second of all, that is, I think a great way to wrap up this episode and to encourage some of our listeners to go check you out at Advanced in Building. Where can they find you, Bradley?
Bradley Richardson
Absolutely. All of our social media, but the best places are going to be, you can type in Advanced Adulting, but it's I'm Bradley Richardson. I am Bradley Richardson is most of the handle on most everything. We have the Advanced Adulting podcast coming out on Thursdays on YouTube. And then we also have the Advanced Adulting community as well. That's a free community that people can join. We do that over on school, but you can contact me at Advanced Adulting and
get you in on that as well. And it's just resources, tips, tools, and most importantly, connection for people. Because I think that's the thing. You asked that question earlier, man, you're not alone. You're not the only person going through this. And that's sometimes that's really all you need to know that, you know, it's OK.
Emilia Bourland, OTR, ECHM
Well, Bradley, thank you so much for being here with us on this episode of Care Lab. Dear listener slash viewer, if you made it to the end of this episode, please take a moment to like, share, comment, leave a review. These are the best ways to help us reach more people like you with great guests and information. Until next time, we'll see you right back here next Friday on Care Lab. Bye.
Brandy Archie
Bye everybody.
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