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5 Self Care Things That Actually Work!

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Summary

In this episode of the CareLab podcast, the hosts Brandy Archie and Emilia Bourland engage in a lively discussion with Sarah Dillingham, the founder of Grace and Able. Sarah shares her journey of creating stylish and effective joint support products specifically designed for women with chronic joint pain. The conversation touches on the importance of both functionality and aesthetics in medical products, as well as the emotional and social impact of living with chronic conditions.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Empowerment through Design: Grace and Able aims to empower women with chronic joint pain by providing joint support products that are both functional and aesthetically pleasing.
  • Personal Experience: Sarah Dillingham's personal experience with rheumatoid arthritis inspired her to create products that people would feel confident wearing in public.
  • Women-Centric Design: The products are specifically designed for women, addressing the unique needs and sizing challenges that women face.
  • Social Stigma: The discussion highlights the social stigma and vulnerability that come with wearing medical devices, and how design can help alleviate these concerns.
  • Innovative Solutions: Grace and Able focuses on creating products that not only work effectively but also integrate seamlessly into the lives of the users without drawing unwanted attention.

 

Transcript

     

    Emilia Bourland:
    All right, welcome to CareLab.

    Brandy Archie:
    Welcome to Care Lab, everybody. Listen, we're gonna just be honest. We were trying to think of a topic that Emelia and I would be good at talking about, and YouTube suggested a couple of things for us. And so we said, okay, let's see what they got. And know what we boiled down to? Everybody has questions about self -care. But then Emelia, with her profoundness, was like, the answer is what?

    Emilia Bourland:
    Bye.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yes.

    Emilia Bourland:
    The answer is, can I also just say before I give the answer here, Brandy, that we were in the middle of talking and you just went ahead and hit record? So here we go. Listen, the answers to how do you take care of yourself are basically always going to be the same, right? They might not be exactly the same for every person, but they all fall into these general, I would say,

    Brandy Archie:
    Cause I was like, this is gems that's getting dropped right here. We might as well just record it.

    Emilia Bourland:
    like three to four categories, is like take care of your body. you know, exercise, sleep well, get enough sleep and feed your body good things. Eat good, healthy food, exercise, take care of your body and get enough rest. And I know those are the most boring answers in the world, which is no one wants them and why no one is satisfied with them. And also,

    Brandy Archie:
    Three buckets, yep.

    Emilia Bourland:
    why they're really frustrating answers though, right? Because it's like, we know that that's the truth, we know that's the case, but it's not the answer we want because it's not that easy to do actually, right?

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Exactly. And it was particularly harder here in America because of the way everything's set up. Literally everything's set up to be against those three principles. Against getting enough sleep, against eating well, and against exercise. I'm going to give you examples for each. So we have a culture of hustle, hustle, go, go, go. And something's happening at all times of day and night. And if you're going to get ahead in whatever you're doing, you need to be up.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    doing it, right? Like that's like the pressure you feel. I used to live in Washington, DC. I'm from Kansas City, Missouri. These are two different speeds of life. And when we moved to DC, it was a, it's a great place and I loved it, but a very acceptable answer for why you couldn't come or you were late to come is I was working. And people say that at six in the morning and they say it at nine and 10 o 'clock at night and nobody flinches. you're working. fine. You know, like

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm.

    Brandy Archie:
    It's a culture of hustle and grand work. Lots of young people there doing political stuff and big things, but like the culture says, keep working really hard. The food system is...

    Emilia Bourland:
    And it's not just okay, like it's the expectation that you should be on all the time.

    Brandy Archie:
    It's the expectation all the time. Yeah. And so plenty of other cities feel that way. And just overall, because I've traveled lots of places, America has that sense of hustle and grind in ways that some other places don't have it as innately in their culture.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Don't you think, and devil's advocate a little bit here, like part of that hustle and grind being a part of our culture, like it's so foundational to America. And it's like foundational, I think to the success of America in a lot of ways too, right? Like we have this innate hustle and grind. But I do think that there are fewer boundaries on that now, even than there were.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yes.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yes.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    were in the past. I think that there still used to be some sense of quitting time and a boundary in space between the hustle and grind and stopping and relaxing. And now it's just on all the time. I would also, think that even in our quote unquote leisure activities, they're so stimulating. If you are, if you're on...

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    social media all the time. If you're on Instagram all the time, TikTok all the time, like if you're on YouTube all the time, you're just sitting there and it's all meant to be hyper stimulating, right?

    Brandy Archie:
    to keep you engaged in doing that thing, right? And that all relates to technology because like a lot of people's work can be done anywhere. We are hosting a podcast and we don't live in the same city. We literally have never met in person.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Right?

    Emilia Bourland:
    How crazy.

    Brandy Archie:
    So like the connectedness, like every strength is usually your biggest strength is usually also your biggest weakness, right? And so that's true for you as individuals, for business, for our country, for our society. And so yeah, the reason the American dream exists is partly because of this culture of work, which is against the idea of getting enough sleep. So that's number one. The other thing you said was making sure you feed your body well and you put good stuff in it.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    That's a challenge here because even when you do try, even when you do try the stuff we get is not as nutritious as it used to be. And it's like even the produce, like you kind of need to get it from a farmer's market and from the people who actually grew it to be sure that you have the best quality that you can get in your body. And that's going a long ways, right? And people might not have access to that for many reasons. And so if you just need to eat.

    Emilia Bourland:
    really big challenge.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    and you've been working all day, then you stop somewhere to eat something. Basically all of it is bad. So it's like you have very few good options. And I'm not advocating that we should go to McDonald's, but McDonald's don't even sell salads anymore. Like you don't even got a choice to be like, I'm gonna eat some vegetables there.

    Emilia Bourland:
    No iceberg lettuce even.

    Brandy Archie:
    Not even the iceberg lettuce that is zero of everything. So you have to be super intentional and it's really hard. And even when you are trying, I've worked with so many patients that were put on a low sodium diet for various reasons, right? And they're like trying and they're like eating more vegetables. But then I'm like, you can't eat any canned goods. And they're like, what? Well, this is beans. This is tomatoes. This is, know, corn. usually...

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yes.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm

    Brandy Archie:
    I'm like, it's full of sodium. They're like, I didn't add any salt to it. I used Mrs. Dash to season it. I was like, I know. You did the right thing. But how it got to you was wrong. You need to use frozen. You got to use fresh because they already put a lot of sodium in it. And that's like the hidden stuff that if you don't pay attention or you haven't been educated on, you just don't even know and you're inputting a bunch of stuff into your body that is bad for you, even if you're trying to do good.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that that I think that eating healthy in particular is really so challenging for all of the reasons that you just said. mean, when you are trying to eat and you're already tired and exhausted and you don't have time to like prepare a healthy meal or you don't have access to those fresh foods, which is a huge problem in lots of parts of this country. Like if you don't know what a food desert is, Google it, check it out. They really, really exist and they seriously impact.

    Brandy Archie:
    Huge.

    Emilia Bourland:
    people's health and wellbeing and quality of life. And we have a lot of them in this country. So people's just ability to even access those like fresh and healthy foods that they need is a really big problem. And of course, you know, it's more expensive to buy food now than it has been in a long time. And so not any food at all. Yeah. So that impacts the choices that people are able to make well. And I think that, you know, we're talking about all of this from like a general perspective.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Any food.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    But if you add on the layer of also being a caregiver who is having to provide a significant amount of either supervision or hands -on care for someone to keep them safe and healthy and well, then all of these difficulties are multiplied, you know, a hundredfold.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Exactly. And so it just makes it harder. So then the third thing that you said, I think it makes all the sense is that we need to move our bodies more. You need to get, you need your heart rate to go up and you need some exercise. And everything in our lives in America is set up to not do that. So we drive pretty much everywhere. there's cities are not even set up for walking. Like there's places literally my book street doesn't have a sidewalk. You know, like they're not.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    When they planned that neighborhood, they weren't thinking about you walking your dog. They were thinking about you driving to and from work and didn't provide a safe place for you to walk it. And we can't do so much work from computers and from staying in one place and we're sitting down all the time. That there's just like not a level of activity built into your day, which is why you got to go work out. But in a different timeframe, in different countries, in different settings,

    Walking is built into what you do every day. And I know I talk about it all the time, but the Blue Zones, one of the themes there is that there's a lot of activity, physical activity built into what they do every day. Nobody's going to the gym and working out at 100 years old, but they are in their garden. They do walk to go eat dinner. Their family might live a few blocks away and they walk over there. They live in a hilly place.

    And so you have to just walking up your driveway is a hill and that's effort. so like that was one of the themes and the places where people live the longest is that there was physical activity built into their everyday life.

    Emilia Bourland:
    I love that you bring that up as one of your points that like we don't, it's exercise is not always about like thinking, okay, I'm going to go exercise now. I'm going to run, I'm going to lift weights. I'm going to do 50 squats or 20 crunches or whatever it is. Literally the way that most of us stay healthy and fit and strong is just going about our daily activities. This is actually something that I've talked about with my patients in the past all the time saying, hey,

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    You know, I know that it seems like we just have to be exercising right now, but really what it comes down to is we just need to be moving our bodies. And the way most of us keep our bodies moving is just by doing our regular daily activities. And so those things can be built into your day. But you're right, the way that our kind of culture and society has sort of transitioned over the last, I don't know, however many decades.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    is that we're just becoming naturally more sedentary. Our environments are not built to allow us to move. think people are more fearful of going outside. They're fearful of sending their kids out to play, right? I mean, how often do you see kids riding their bikes anymore?

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Not that often. I don't. I can't send my kids out to ride the bike because I don't want them riding the street. We don't have a sidewalk.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Not that often, but I would

    There you go. When I was a kid, I rode my bike everywhere, you know? And it like wasn't a thing. We just went out and did it. I don't think my parents ever knew where I was. And that was a sad, no idea. Exactly, exactly. We were off. I don't even know where we were. But we were fine and it was okay. And now...

    Brandy Archie:
    You

    Brandy Archie:
    Come home when the street light comes on, that's it.

    Emilia Bourland:
    You know, there's a lot of fear about even letting your kids go outside to do that or going out for a walk yourself. And our leisure activities have become, I think, more sedentary, too. It's, you and listen, I have no problem with Netflix and chill. I like to Netflix and chill. But if all you're doing is Netflix and chilling, playing on video games, messing around on YouTube, scrolling through your social media, that's a lot of overstimulation for your brain and understimulation for your body. And, you know,

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    That doesn't make for happy campers.

    Brandy Archie:
    And I know it can sound like, I don't know, doctory or foggy or, I don't know, just like stuffy, like, okay, there's only those three things, but we've railed about why those things are hard to do. But they really do tie to your health. Like literally your blood sugar and your blood pressure are tied to how much you weigh plus how much you move your body. And when you move your body more, then your cells do better. And they do...

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    They do what they're supposed to do. Your body was made for motion. It was literally made for motion. When we don't have motion, we get all kinds of bad things, swelling in our legs, wounds, more infection, difficulty breathing, and all that leads to those chronic illnesses, the big ones that you hear about. But it starts with little stuff because you're not moving your body very much. And so I guess we talked about how hard it is to do it, but I think there are also probably some easy ways to

    improve all three of those things in most situations if you're intentional about it. Do you got any ideas?

    Emilia Bourland:
    I do, I do. And I'm actually gonna throw in the other two things that I think are really, really important for health and wellbeing. And there's a bunch of research to back up all of this stuff, but I wanna add in the last two things that I think people will also relate to here. One is meaningful activity, right? Doing things that you truly enjoy doing. That could be a work activity if you love your work.

    but it could also be something that you're doing for leisure. But it in general does not involve sitting around and just watching. It involves some kind of actual participation in doing whatever feeds you, but meaningful activity. And the second thing is, okay.

    Brandy Archie:
    Wait, wait, wait, don't go to the second thing. Because I don't even think you took, you get, when I hear that, I can easily say, well, isn't that the same thing as moving your body? But that's not what you're saying. You're saying something that your heart and mind are engaged in, that are a reason for getting up in the morning, right? Like lot of our reasons for getting up in the morning is I need to work because I need money in order to live my life. You don't need to work anymore, which is a big thing what happens when you retire. If that was your only sense of purpose.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm. That's not what I'm saying.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    then we sit, we don't do as much and we get more depressed. And so what you're saying about meaningful activity is not just moving your body. That's two separate things. It's something that you can get up in the morning for it that you enjoy and want to do.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Exactly. And so that does tie into the second thing that I was going to say here too, which is social interaction. It is so important to interact with other people as part of a community. And so how did these two things go together? Well, a lot of times the things that we enjoy, that we find meaningful, that kind of feed us, we can meet other people who also enjoy those same things, right? And that's like this

    Brandy Archie:
    Mmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yep. Yep.

    Emilia Bourland:
    crazy giant double dose of goodness basically for you. you're doing something you enjoy doing with other people, I mean that is a huge, huge way that we can support our health and wellness.

    Brandy Archie:
    Some people are gonna say, well, I'm an introvert and I don't like to hang out with other people. And I'm gonna say that's crap because every, it is. Everything in our lives is, if you wanna pull on a thread that goes through everything, it's interpersonal interactions. Now, some people like that more than others. Some people need more of it than other people need it, but everybody needs it. I just just,

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Hahaha!

    Brandy Archie:
    talking to the founder of the Golden Life Communities and it's for women who are 55 plus and single. And this is like a particularly, a particular group because it's like they were feeling so left out essentially, like alone and without having a partner or somebody around them. There was no other sense of community because they didn't an engagement with anybody else. So they created a community that they could join in together. And just by...

    putting people together, not even physically, but virtually and given the opportunity for that, it improved people's quality of life. And like, that's just one example, but if you really dig to the bottom of a whole bunch of things, it's usually about not having enough engagement with another human being. Like we are social creatures as a rule, we're social creatures. I might need a lot, like I'm an extrovert, I like to...

    I get my energy from being around people and engaging and doing that stuff. That's awesome to me. Some people who are introverts don't get your energy from being around big groups of people, but that doesn't mean you don't need engagement and communication. It might just be one -on -one. It might just be at smaller amounts, but you need something. And everything in our society is kind of set up to like make it so you don't feel like you have to connect, right? Cause we don't have, we don't just, we just don't have as many.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm

    Brandy Archie:
    random occasions for connection. That's the reason we have online dating, right? Is because people had a hard time meeting people in real life, quotation marks. And so we needed to create another way to connect with people, because we're having a hard time connecting. And so it also applies to your health.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Okay, we should, because we have, we spent a lot of time talking about how very important these things are and the fact that there's kind of not a way around it, everyone. You just, you have to take care of your body. You have to get enough sleep. You have to eat good food. You need to do things that you love and you need to do, and you need to have social interaction, right? That's a lot of needing and shoulding. And I'm sorry, because no one.

    Brandy Archie:
    You need it. Everybody needs it.

    Brandy Archie:
    you

    Emilia Bourland:
    And this is from Elizabeth Miller, I should give her credit. No one wants to be should on. I get that. No one does. But the facts remain that these are the things that we really have to do to take care of ourselves. These are the things, if you want to know what self -care really works, this is the basis of any self -care that's actually really going to work. So what are some small things that we can do? Because we don't have to go from

    Brandy Archie:
    Gotcha.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Sitting on the couch and running a marathon in one day, right? We take baby steps. What are some small things that you can do, little baby steps, to help go in the right direction for some of these things?

    Brandy Archie:
    Little baby steps.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah, let's start with food. Because we do that the most often, right? We're going to do that.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Let's start with food.

    Gotta eat all the time.

    Brandy Archie:
    I mean, super small changes. Okay. There are some small changes that you can make. One, eat real food. Try your best in as many opportunities as you have to eat food that looks like as close to it existed. Right? So like vegetables, whole vegetables, whole grains. If you're a meat eater, then not fried, but maybe baked instead. And so like, I'm not telling you to change everything that you eat to

    become vegan. I'm just saying try to consider eating your foods as close to how they existed in real life before they got to you.

    Emilia Bourland:
    There's also, and obviously this totally depends on what's available to you in your local area, but in a lot of places there are like shared kind of like farm to table delivery services that can be really inexpensive. So for example, like you can sign up for delivery services from like a local farmer's market or even like, you know, a.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    a local farmer if that might be near you, or just kind of go online and see what sort of like vegetable or produce delivery services are available. And what will happen is often they'll like bring you a big old box of just random fruits and vegetables, okay? Just like some random produce people. And a lot of times it'll be more than you can actually eat. So what you can do is you can get together with friends or neighbors or see there's opportunities for social interaction here.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    connection.

    Emilia Bourland:
    connections people. And you can basically like get these boxes and then you can share them between people so that everyone has the opportunity to have you know some like fresh really healthy produce. You get to introduce to some new things you may not have been aware of so you can like start thinking a little bit more creatively trying something new in the kitchen cooking.

    And you can do it at a relatively low cost a lot of times, especially if you're like splitting the cost between people. So again, the service often depends really locally on where you are. You might have to do a little bit of Googling and legwork or, you know, ask around the neighborhood or go to your local farmer's market and ask about it if you have that available to you. But it can be worth it because it can be an easy and cheap way to get some.

    extra yummy veggies and produce in your diet. And then also, like I said, it's an excuse to actually meet people and, you know, talk with your neighbors or friends or, you know, have a nice chat.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    And one other thing that people, a lot of people don't know is that if you're on food stamps or snap, a lot of farmers markets will take those snap dollars or, and double them. And so like in Kansas city, have, in Kansas city, we have city market. And if you take your snap dollars to city market, instead of getting something for a dollar, can get it. What I would pay $2 for you can pay a dollar for of your snap benefits. And so it's very worth asking and checking. And then the other thing that's really awesome about

    Emilia Bourland:
    wow, i didn't know that

    Brandy Archie:
    farmers markets is that sometimes, or places that sell fresh produce too, and sometimes the stuff is getting ready to go bad. They're not going to be able to sell it in a day or two. And they mark it down to a dollar for a whole bunch of stuff. And so we save money that way by being able to access that. It does make your palate be a little bit more open because you're working with whatever's available to you and not just getting the same things every time. But you know, that's not bad. There's so much on YouTube that will tell you about everything.

    I literally have an acorn squash that somebody gave me that I was like, I have no idea what to do with this, but I'm going to figure that out.

    Emilia Bourland:
    I'm a really big fan for like time management when it comes to eating and eating healthy food. I'm a really big fan of like prepping food beforehand when I do have the time. So if I have a little bit extra time on a Saturday or Sunday trying to do a bunch of food prep for the week or even for like two weeks just kind of depends on what it is. And I'll prep everything and then throw some of it in the freezer, maybe throw some of it in the fridge.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    But that way I have stuff that's already prepared and healthy that I can eat off of and that I can feed my family. And it's not going to take me forever to do it. And also, honestly, it just makes it so much less stressful. This is actually, it's nice to be healthy, but honestly, this is the real reason I do it. I personally find it so stressful to like be at work all day, go home, pick up the kids, go home, they've got activities after school.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    And in the meantime being like, what am I gonna feed these children? And like, what am I gonna feed me? And when my husband gets home, like, what does he, like, what are we all gonna eat? Because let's be honest, it really makes a difference in your evening, whether or not there's food available. And so just having those things prepped and just saying, okay, I can just grab this. I can just grab that. And I don't have to think about it at all.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yep.

    Emilia Bourland:
    It makes my day and my evening so much less stressful to do that preparation. Yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yep, to do that food prep. I try to do the same thing. I think we could do a whole episode about ways to improve your diet in simple, small, manageable steps. But we got five self -care tips. So we did food. We got to move. We got to move on. How about some easy ways to increase the move? We're going to move to topics. Let's move our bodies. What are some easy ways we can add more movement to our day?

    Emilia Bourland:
    Ooh, yikes. We gotta move on.

    Emilia Bourland:
    So this can be so, so simple, I think. If you, let's say you actually love to garden, you love being outdoors with plants, but maybe you don't have the time, the money, the wherewithal, the space that you need to go outside and garden. And by the way, if you do get outside there, why are those plants? But if you don't, and let's face it, a lot of us don't, depending on whatever situation we're in, can you have a couple of houseplants? And can you place them around,

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    the house or the apartment or wherever you live strategically so that you have to walk to them, so that you're having to get up and check on them and water them. By the way, growing things is also so good for the soul. It can be a very meaningful activity that also gets you up and moving. So I think that that's kind of a great and easy example. And you'd be surprised, those of you who think you have black thumbs.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    It can be green if you can learn. I say this because I used to kill everything. But do know why I killed everything? Because I paid it no attention. That's why.

    Brandy Archie:
    You can learn.

    Brandy Archie:
    But you overwatered it.

    The good thing about that is a solution is because it needs to be done every day, right? And it needs to be done on a regular basis. And you see the effects of it if they don't because your plants are dying, right? And so it gives you a little bit extra motivation to go deal with them, especially when you're in the house and you actually see them. My garden dies on the outside because I just don't even go out to the backyard and I go out there, I'm like, I saw all these plants. they are dead already. So houseplants is a great way to start. The other thing I'd add is like,

    Emilia Bourland:
    It's gotta be done, yeah.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Hahaha!

    Brandy Archie:
    Do you have to park in the closest parking spot? You could just park a little bit further away and walk into where you're going and walk out. You've already added more mobility to your day by just doing that. And you'll probably find a parking spot faster.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Ooh, piggyback on that. How often do we take the stairs? not that often probably. But if that is something that's available to you both in your environment and like physically you're capable of taking the stairs, it's another, in fact, before I ever exercised like at all, like when I had wee little kids and I just, there was no time for anything like that. I wasn't going on any runs, people.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    I wasn't doing any yoga. I wasn't doing any of that, but I would take the stairs at work and I'd be huffing and puffing up those stairs. And I tell you what, sometimes I get to like my patients, the next floor, wherever my patient was. I'd come in and I'd in and I'd be like, hold on. I'm okay. I just took the stairs. My name's Amelia. I'm an occupational therapist. One moment, please. But like,

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Stand outside the door, catch a breath.

    Brandy Archie:
    you

    Brandy Archie:
    Hehehehehe

    Emilia Bourland:
    That was how I got my activity. And you know what? I got it where I could.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yep. Yep, exactly. Exactly. Just find ways to get a little bit more movement than you did the other day. That's it. It don't have to take a lot.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yeah, and I think that, you know, these are obviously a few really simple examples, but you can, you know, if you're listening to this, you're a smart person, like you can take that ball and run with it. Just think about, okay, how can I space out my environment? How can I manage what I do in a way that just makes me move just a little bit more? And if you can make it something that you enjoy doing, then you're going to be way more motivated to

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    to do that movement to.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm, exactly. Okay, so what about connecting with others? You've been weaving it in and all of them.

    Emilia Bourland:
    been weaving it in. I mean, that's the great thing about social interaction is once you kind of go out there and just start the conversations where you put yourself in the situation where other people are around and you get over that scary part of actually starting to talk to someone, a lot of times these things happen pretty naturally because humans are like a social, we are a social animal.

    Right? We have to be connected. Mm -hmm. Because we don't do well on our own. know, back in the day when we were, you know, running across the savanna trying to hunt things down, you can't do that by yourself. So we are literally wired to be together. So kind of once you get started, things get a little bit easier. That was a very nonspecific answer. Brandi, you probably have something more helpful to say.

    Brandy Archie:
    We're social, we're wired to connect. We are wired to connect. Yes.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    I think if you tie it to an activity, then it makes it a lot easier. If you're going to go do a thing that you like and you do it with other, then there's other people who like that and you've automatically created community. You have a community around so many different things. You can have a church community, you can have your people in your neighborhood that you actually physically see. You can have a virtual community of people who also like to read from this particular author that you like. It doesn't.

    It actually, to your brain and your emotions, it doesn't really matter. As long as you have some level of connection with other human beings, whether it's in person or not, is really important. And so that's one of the big, I don't mean real kind of on screen time, social media and virtual stuff, but this is actually one of the big benefits of the internet because even if you have the most niche interests that like only five people in the world like, you can find those five people online.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yeah. And that is really cool. What I would say, and I'm going say something kind of controversial here. So please forgive me for anyone whose opinion may differ. There are so many support groups for caregivers online. And that's a really good thing, right? This is a wonderful thing that there are places where people can find each other. They can share their shared experiences. They can talk to people who really

    Brandy Archie:
    Okay, here we go.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    kind of get where they're coming from. But here's what I'm about to say that would be controversial perhaps. Don't, maybe don't only spend your time in those support groups. Like, and here's the reason why. It's so important when you are a caregiver to have something that is outside of that, that is just for you. And support groups as absolutely vital and important

    Brandy Archie:
    Mmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah.

    Emilia Bourland:
    as as they are, ultimately are centered around that caregiving experience, right? So it takes you, it lets you to process those things, but it also keeps you in that space. You have to have something that allows you to not be in that space in your head for a little while. So maybe in addition to the support group online, maybe you join a virtual book club.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    And in that book club, you don't talk about being a caregiver. Maybe no one even knows you're a caregiver. If you don't feel like sharing that information, you just talk about whatever book you're reading and have a good time in a way that is not connected with the difficulties and struggles that maybe you'll be having. I think that's really, really important. Like we can't...

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    just go down the same rabbit hole over and over again. There has to be some level of separation. And I think that's important for both social interaction and thinking about, I don't wanna, if you just are talking about the things that are frustrating you over and over and over again all day, you think you're gonna feel less frustrated? Probably not. Probably not. So we have to find a way to have some social interaction that allows us to get outside of that space so we can have

    Brandy Archie:
    How not? No.

    Emilia Bourland:
    other perspectives and take a break mentally from those things for a little while. I think that's a really important part of social interaction. And again, to your point, Brandy, there are actually great things about the internet and social media and things like that. And when we can find other people and connect about things, then that is really a wonderful way to do that.

    Brandy Archie:
    Absolutely. Okay, I think we saved the hardest for last. How do you get more sleep?

    Emilia Bourland:
    Okay.

    Mmmmm

    That is so hard. Okay, we could actually take a whole episode on this. And if you would like us, we probably should. If that's something that you would like, then let us know in the comments, because we probably should, because sleep is so absolutely vital. And there are lots of parts of it that we can dig into. I'll say a couple things here, and I think this is particularly important for caregivers.

    Brandy Archie:
    We probably should.

    Emilia Bourland:
    is to protect your sleep by having really firm boundaries about what does and doesn't need to happen actually at night. Obviously, there are some things that maybe you have to wake up for that are required. maybe sometimes, and I say this from experience that I've had before, maybe sometimes the things that someone wants to happen at night, they don't.

    necessarily have to happen at night, right? I don't

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah. Can you give an example maybe of like, when you say happen at night, you mean like something's happening overnight? Or you mean like the routine to going to bed is too long and so you're not getting to bed yourself on time?

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mmm.

    Emilia Bourland:
    I think both of those things. And actually, I would recommend listening back to the episode that we had with Consuela Marshall to hear her story about her. Yeah, she's talked about that so well. So I definitely would recommend listening back to Consuela's episode. She's fantastic and shares her story with her mom. But yes, so I think having a nighttime routine that makes sense so that everyone can get to bed at a reasonable hour, having a

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah, she talked about that directly.

    Emilia Bourland:
    like a set schedule for things. But then also, you know, are there ways that you can ensure that needs are met, you know, before bed and in the morning, or are there ways that you can help people to, you know, be more self -sufficient at night? And again, I realize this is an individual situation. Take it with a grain of salt, like, like,

    Brandy Archie:
    Take it with a grain of salt. Yes.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Listen, I'm a person talking to you from the outer space of the internet world. I don't know your personal situation or what's going on. So you do what you need to do at nighttime to keep someone safe, obviously. But if there's a need that can be met before bedtime or in the morning, and it really doesn't need to be met overnight, it's more a matter of like you checking on someone because you feel the need to.

    or them wanting to be checked on. But like, I am pot calling the kettle black here. My kids didn't sleep for the first year.

    Why? Probably mostly because of me, honestly, because I couldn't not go in and check on them all the time. Yeah, and they woke up like this was a me problem, not a my kids problem. So, you know, I'm talking to myself here just as much as anyone else who if they're hearing this might be thinking maybe I could work on that too.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    And then they woke up, yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah, I think that's such an important thing. this is definitely a great, the whole thing is a great conversation for me right now, because I have been neglecting to do these exact same things that we're talking about because in pursuit of being able to deal with little kids and run and grow a new business and it's catching up with me and literally just went to the primary care doctor and we had to make some changes. And so now I just had to protect my sleep more. And so

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Because there's always an excuse for staying up a little bit later and getting up a little bit earlier. So have a few more hours to do whatever, whatever, whatever. There's always a whatever. But there's not always a time where you can pull the clock back on having Alzheimer's. Like we know that when you sleep, your brain clears out the plaques in your brain. And when those don't get cleared out the way they're supposed to and they build up, over the decades of your life, you're not going to see this happen immediately.

    over the decades of your life, then that is what causes dementia. And so, and once you've been diagnosed or it's happened, there are maybe a few things you can do to make it a little bit better. But the biggest thing you could have could have done in the past was sleep more. And so I don't know if that feels like a strong push, but I hope it does because we're very bad at planning for the future. Like as humans, we talked about humans being the need for connection. That's great. We do, but we also don't.

    plan for the future well. And if there's no direct consequences, which there's not always direct consequences for not sleeping now, there are definitely health implications that come later down the road. And so while you told us some ways to make sure you protect how much you sleep, you also should consider how well you sleep. And so if you have a hard time falling asleep, then you should maybe try to cut off your screen time an hour before bedtime. If you go to the bathroom a lot at nighttime, maybe try to

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm -hmm.

    Brandy Archie:
    Cut down not how much water you drink during the day, but how late you drink it. And don't drink any fluids an hour or two hours before bed so that you've gotten out before you go to sleep and you don't have to wake up in middle of the night. I mean, these are just all ideas and it's very independent to what your body and stuff goes through, but it's just things to think about and to try. And think about the temperature in your room. Can you change that in a certain way to allow you to sleep better? Some people need to be colder or need to be warmer.

    Can you do something for your care partner so that you cannot feel like you need to get up and check on them in the middle of the night? That could be put a baby monitor in there. So you have the ability to see them without actually going to check on them. Or it could be put a bed alarm or a floor mat alarm so that you do hear it when somebody actually gets out of bed and you're not worried about are they getting out of bed or not getting out of bed.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Okay.

    Brandy Archie:
    so that you have some peace of mind so that you can actually sleep well. Because even if you lay in that room for 10 hours, if you didn't sleep, you still didn't sleep and your body still needs it.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Yep. Yep. I think when I'm addressing sleep with someone from a therapy perspective, we start by talking about essentially what you're getting to here, which is some sleep hygiene, right? Which sleep hygiene is our fancy way of saying, do you have a normal sleep routine? You do things the same way every night before bed to let your body know that it's time to go to sleep. We want to do things like, as you said, limit screen time.

    Brandy Archie:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    If you cannot watch TV or not have a TV in your room, that can be very helpful to boost your sleep quality and make it easier to fall asleep. Think about what you're putting into your body. You know, when I became really, really protective of my sleep over the last few years because I could feel that it was having a significant impact on me. So, as you know, Brandy, I cut caffeine out of my diet. And as much as I miss that, gosh, do I sleep so much better now?

    So we wanna be mindful of, the things we're putting into our body, how stimulated we are at night, being protective of our sleep and setting clear boundaries, having a regular bedtime. And of course, if you're a caregiver and you do have someone that sometimes needs assistance at night, as you said, Brandy, having different monitors, different alarms, and can you get someone to come in and help you out every now and again so that you can really get a solid quality night's sleep because...

    There's no substitute for it. And it is one of the most impactful things on our overall health.

    Brandy Archie:
    So we threw a whole ton at y 'all and hopefully, hopefully that is, hopefully there are some nuggets that you can pull from that. I feel like sometimes when I listen to things or read things that are impactful or give me a lot of information, I'm like, okay, this is great, but how am I gonna like actually put it into my life? Don't feel like you gotta put all the things into action today. Like that's overwhelming for anybody. Pick a thing that's, pick the easiest thing that we said.

    Emilia Bourland:
    yeah. Sorry.

    Brandy Archie:
    that you can change today and do it. And then once you're successful at that, because you will be, you can add another thing and get the beautiful podcast. You can come back and listen to this episode again and pull out a new nugget and try that.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Brandi, so this is what happens when Brandi and I just start talking without a plan.

    Brandy Archie:
    Hahaha

    Brandy Archie:
    Listen, I feel like that was pretty well organized.

    Emilia Bourland:
    I'm actually, I'm kind of impressed by us, because this actually is what happens when we start talking without a plan, because this way we work together though, because we're on the same track here. So if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure, leave us a comment, leave us a review. If there's something that you want to hear more about with this, if you have questions, if something didn't make sense, whatever it is, please leave a comment, let us know so that we can.

    Brandy Archie:
    Yeah.

    Brandy Archie:
    Exactly.

    Emilia Bourland:
    be responsive to what you listeners want. Please leave a review that will help people to find this information that need it. And of course, like and subscribe.

    Brandy Archie:
    And if you want some help with figuring out how to change any one of these five things, listen, this is what OTs do. We are like awesome at this. And so we talked in generalities today, but we can talk specifically. So leave us a comment about as much information as you want to leave and we'll try to give you some specific solutions for your specific issue.

    Emilia Bourland:
    Mm

    Emilia Bourland:
    All right, and we'll see you next time right here on Care Lab. Bye.

    Brandy Archie:
    Bye.

     


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    Brandy Archie, OTD, OTR/L, CLIPP

    Dr. Archie received her doctorate in occupational therapy from Creighton University. She is a certified Living in Place Professional with past certifications in low vision therapy, brain injury and driving rehabilitation.  Dr. Archie has over 15 years of experience in home health and elder focused practice settings which led her to start AskSAMIE, a curated marketplace to make aging in place possible for anyone, anywhere! Answer some questions about the problems the person is having and then a personalized cart of adaptive equipment and resources is provided.

    She's a wife, mother of 3 and a die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan! Connect with her on Linked In or by email anytime.

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